Published November 21, 2006
Flawless pale skin,
Encasing a wild and crazy soul
That leaks,
Slowly but surely
From the little slashes upon her wrist.
A permanent crease,
Above the eyebrows,
(That tattletales on her inner blonde)
From worried nights,
Of Jake & Tanner.
Pudgy lips
From pouting
Laughing,
And brilliant thoughts
That escape
In moments of silence.
Now,
This pulchritudinous cat,
Lies blanched and ashen,
Laced with the
Stench
Of liquor
I hope you like it! Don't be too mean
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142,214 Literary Works • 676,891 Reviews
Thanks for the feedback, and yeah, I did mean to make it all one line. It was pretty late when I typed this so there's probably lots of errors that I'll go over later.
I like it. I like the way it starts. Keep writing, keep flowing. You've got something special.
Did you mean to put this on the same line because it doesn't go how you have it? Another thing is you should try to keep all the lines the same length.
Other than that I quite like this poem.
Keep writing!!
Loz