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Young Writers Society



Elegy for a Best Friend

by Princess Prettie


Flawless pale skin,
Encasing a wild and crazy soul
That leaks,
Slowly but surely
From the little slashes upon her wrist.
A permanent crease,
Above the eyebrows,
(That tattletales on her inner blonde)
From worried nights,
Of Jake & Tanner.
Pudgy lips
From pouting
Laughing,
And brilliant thoughts
That escape
In moments of silence.

Now,
This pulchritudinous cat,
Lies blanched and ashen,
Laced with the
Stench
Of liquor

I hope you like it! Don't be too mean
:wink:


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User avatar
21 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 21

Donate
Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:19 am



Thanks for the feedback, and yeah, I did mean to make it all one line. It was pretty late when I typed this so there's probably lots of errors that I'll go over later.




User avatar
6 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 6

Donate
Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:44 pm
LetMeLive says...



I like it. I like the way it starts. Keep writing, keep flowing. You've got something special.




User avatar
28 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 28

Donate
Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:45 am
Loranys Gellantara wrote a review...



Pale
Skin,


Did you mean to put this on the same line because it doesn't go how you have it? Another thing is you should try to keep all the lines the same length.

Other than that I quite like this poem.

Keep writing!!

Loz





One fish, two fish, red fish, aardvark.
— alliyah